Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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