if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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