Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize