Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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