can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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