dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
