Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize