Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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