Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so let's talk penis.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
