would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
