I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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