i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
