3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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