Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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