Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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