Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My life is pants optional.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
