i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We named our party play list daddy issues
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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