after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
