She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
