Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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