Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
