I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
