Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
