the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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