:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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