i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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