he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I just put wine in my tea
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
