Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
