if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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