i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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