I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
God, I missed his penis.
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