I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
