Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
