We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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