He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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