Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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