if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
