Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
