I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
