That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
