And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
