Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
