bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
