And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
