I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
