I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
