You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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