I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize