His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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