I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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