dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
