She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
