is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
