your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
