Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
