oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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