JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize