Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
