she was so not down for the gang bang
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
