so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
