I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
