Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
