I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
