you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
