I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
