I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
