I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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