what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
