dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
