In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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