I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize