I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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